Dear Me: I forgive you.

Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.

In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.

Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.

Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.

Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:

Dear Me,

Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.

I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.

I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.


#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #forgiveness #wellbeing #instagood #threads #bhfyp

Judgement – Who is Judging Who

“People will judge you no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you want.”

Unknown

Raise your hand if you ever remember feeling “judged” for something you did, a comment you said, or a decision you made? 🙋‍♀️

I think it is safe to say, we have all been there.

Sometimes these judgements are real and other times they are stories we make up in our own heads. Fact – human beings are judgemental creatures. But, remember, their base of judgement is rooted from how they view the world. It has nothing to do with you.

Each human is different, made up of their own experiences and values that tell them how the world should be. That does not mean everything they believe is correct. If we constantly worry about how others will perceive us, we will STOP ourselves from becoming the very person we were meant to become. Opportunities that could open up the world for us will never blossom because we didn’t even allow ourselves to open the door.

Here’s the truth – 75% of the time, the judgements we feel are thoughts we made up and told ourselves to believe. I say that because EVERYONE is worried about being judged – to the point where they are mainly thinking about how others are perceiving them. They are not worried about you as much as you feel like they are.

We spend hours criticizing ourselves, when they spend – what – like a second thinking about us regarding something that has no truth attached to it?

It is easy to get paralyzed with fear in hopes of fitting in or being accepted by others. But here’s the catch – others do not get to define who we are; WE define who we are.

Yes, I’m weird. I’m quirky. I’m a Philly Sports phanatic, not girly girl. I am a homebody who loves her fur babies, and I am definitely not a partier. I enjoy board games and being at the beach. I love helping people and I believe that I am here for a bigger purpose than just me. Not all these statements I like about myself, but I am learning to accept them because that is who God made me to be.

People will always have opinions and that is their right. But YOU get to decide how YOU show up each and every day. Are you going to hold yourself back because of your perceived opinion or others’ perceived opinions? Or are you going to push through and show others what’s possible when you just go for it and be you?

Show them what it means to be you. Live your life on your terms. Don’t let other opinions define who you are. Then start a ripple effect – try your best to judge people a little less because you know what it is like to feel judged yourself.

I guarantee you will inspire people without even knowing about it. So go out, BE BOLD, BE YOU.


#judgement #keepgoing #motivation #holistic #mentalhealth #fear #anxiety #depression #strength #courage #strong #inspiration #health #healthymind

You are Not a Tree

“If you are not happy with your life, you need to do something to change it. Do not stay stuck. You are not a tree.”

If you read the name of the article and the quote, you might think – “Wow that’s harsh, what does this girl know?”

Let me tell you what I know. If you backtrack my life to about two years ago, I literally lost everything – some by choice and some by a domino effect. It broke me in ways I cannot explain. I literally just laid on the bathroom floor one day and said “God just take me because I cannot do this anymore.”

Now fast forward two years. I am beyond happy. I look forward to each day and am excited for my future. But this feeling did not come overnight. It took time. But first, I needed to change what was not working for me and accept that things were going to be dicey for a while in order to have the future I wanted.

In a year’s time, I had a miscarriage, filed for divorce, filed for bankruptcy which included losing my house and good credit score, lost my job, moved back in with my mom, and said goodbye to my three cats who stayed with my ex. My life was hell. I also lost friends along the way who claimed my shit was “too much” for them to handle.

So, as you can see, it was as if a wrecking ball had come flying into my life taking everything with it. It started with the miscarriage, which really had me reevaluate my life and what I wanted. I had been unhappy in my marriage for a while, but was too scared and too sad to do anything. My miscarriage forced me to focus on myself.

After spending many nights crying my eyes out, I decided I needed to make a change no matter how terrifying it was. Once I signed my name on the petition for divorce, I knew there was no turning back. On top of it just being plain scary to end a ten year relationship with someone, I knew that going through with the divorce meant I had to be willing to file for bankruptcy (due to the house loans we had taken out). It was as though one thing just lead to another.

Frankly, looking back, I still don’t know how I did it all – except for just putting one foot in front of another and never looking back.

The point of my story is this – if you are unhappy, it is up to you to change it. Do not stand still and hope for the best. Don’t wait for the circumstances to be perfect or the right amount of money to come along. It is never going to happen. If you want to be unstuck, YOU need to get yourself moving.

It starts with a decision – one powerful decision to change your life. Then comes an action. And after that, it’s one small thing after another. The key is never looking back. Look toward your future and make your dreams come true.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #love #selflove #health #mentalillness #therapy #recovery #motivation #wellness #mindfulness #healing #ptsd #mentalhealthmatters #fitness #wellbeing #loveyourself #psychology #life #meditation #happiness #worldmentalhealthday #suicideprevention #endthestigma #inspiration #positivity #change #divorce

Physical vs. Emotional Hunger

“I was not eating to nourish my body but rather eating to fill an emotional hole”

After my battle with anorexia, I still struggled with food for many years. Essentially, I went from not eating anything to over indulging in things because I went too long not enjoying food. Then the occasional overindulging lead to emotional eating when I was sad or anxious.

As stated in a previous post, I was not eating to nourish my body but rather eating to fill an emotional hole. This took some time to overcome, and there are still times I struggle with it today. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) taught me “mindfulness” – as silly as it might sounds, many of us cannot master this concept. We, as a society, are always thinking about the past or the future – not too much about the present. Staying in the moment, and allowing yourself to recognize how you feel, can allow you to overcome more than you would think. Being aware is the first step to letting go.

If you struggle with emotional eating, I urge you to begin to be more mindful of your physical and mental state at the time you crave food.

Ask yourself where you feel the hunger, be aware of the timing, and how fast you are consuming your food.

Here are some classic signs to look for according to Natalie Wingfield (of the VA Beach Counseling Center) and how you tell the difference between physical and emotional eating:

Physical
Where do you feel the hunger: stomach
Timing: every 4-6hrs
Rate: slow, mindful
Other: eating with others, diversity with food

Emotional:
Where do you feel the hunger: mouth watering, need to chew
Timing: urgent
Rate: faster paced
Other: often alone, craving something specific

It took me a while to realize that my body is a temple. It is merely what transports my soul from one place to another. So, be mindful. Real happiness does not come from food or from having an ideal body. However, if you nourish your body with the correct amount of vitamins and minerals, you will be amazed at how much better physically and mentally you will feel. Your gut carries 80-90% of the serotonin in your body. So when your belly is properly nourished, you will see a difference in your mood.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp

Loneliness

“Loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are and stop looking outside yourself for worth.”

Do you ever have one of those days were you just feel misunderstood? Like no matter what you do, you cannot get your point across?

Well, what happens when this feeling occurs on a daily basis, leaving you feeling alone and discouraged?

Feeling alone can take up a lot of energy, especially as we tell ourselves how alone we are. But there is a difference between feeling alone and being alone.

Loneliness often does not come from actually being alone, but rather from feeling misunderstood or like you do not belong. So, the first step is to acknowledge that. Are you really alone or do you feel alone? If you are feeling alone, try to pinpoint why. Are you having trouble getting your point across? Do you feel like no one understands you? Once you have a clearer idea of what you are struggling with, you can begin to put together an action plan to heal.

First off, it’s important to note, that feeling lonely is much more common then you would think. Tons of people are trying to find their way whether they state it or not. And there are definitely times when many of us feel like something is wrong with us and that we do not fit into the world around us.

Once you figure out what is causing you to feel alone, I challenge you to see the power that you hold: “Loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are and stop looking outside yourself for worth.” Reread that one more time. “Loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are and stop looking outside yourself for worth.” If you can wrap your brain around this concept, that means our dreadful feeling of loneliness is actually quite powerful. So –

Step #1. Stop looking for another person’s approval – whether it be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, etc.

Step #2. Start appreciating yourself for everything you are. You would never tell a friend how terrible he/she is, so don’t tell yourself that either.

Step #3. Start filling your day with things that you love to do. What brings you the most joy? What brings out your inner light?

And lastly,

Step #4. Give yourself a break. We can often be our worst enemies. It is now time to be your best friend. You have so much to offer this world. Keep fighting through the negative thoughts; you are meant to shine.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #love #selflove #health #mentalillness #therapy #recovery #motivation #wellness #mindfulness #healing #ptsd #mentalhealthmatters #fitness #wellbeing #loveyourself #psychology #life #meditation #happiness #worldmentalhealthday #suicideprevention #endthestigma #inspiration #positivity #loneliness #alone

Law of Attraction

” In the New Thought philosophy, the Law of Attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life. “

Have you ever heard someone tell you how important it is to think positively?

If you haven’t, even more of a reason to read this article! If you have followed my blog, you have heard me say how important affirmations are and to be aware of your self-talk.

There is a reason behind all of this. There is a theory called “The Law of Attraction”, which claims that the vibe you send into the world is the vibe you get back. It is believed that, regardless of age, nationality, or religious belief, “we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.” ***

I’m sure after reading that last paragraph, your mind is blown and you are still trying to fully grasp all of what I just stated. No worries, I was too at first.

My first reaction was to question – “So you’re telling me that I can basically think good things into my life?”

Yes, that’s exactly it. Now, this does not mean bad things will not happen. That is a part of life. But what it does mean is that, by thinking positively, you are more likely to achieve higher because you are aiming directly at your target (your end goals and thus YOUR PURPOSE).

The practices and beliefs in this law have been practiced for years, dating all the way back to the ancient Buddha. He believed “what you have become is what you thought.”

So, how can you use the Law of Attraction in your own life?

If you don’t like your life, CHANGE IT. Stop waiting for the perfect time or perfect situation because it isn’t coming. The Law of Attraction really is that simple. Be proactive, see your goals, and go after them – “No matter what you are looking to have or achieve or be in life, if you can hold onto an idea and see it for yourself in the mind’s eye, you can make it yours to have… with some effort on your part.”**

It really is about changing your mindset. It can be hard, but don’t give up. In a society where there is so much negative, most people have to practice affirmations everyday in order to retrain their brain into thinking positively.

My suggestion? Start a vision board or post quotes in places you will see everyday that remind you what you are fighting for. Set your intention.

Here are twelve affirmations I found that might be helpful. Begin each affirmation with “I am”:

1. Receiving abundance now in expected and unexpected ways.

2. Increasingly confident in my ability to create the life I desire.

3. Acting on inspiration and insights and I trust my inner guidance.

4. Giving and receiving all that is good and all that I desire.

5. Receiving infinite, inexhaustible and immediate abundance.

6. Creating my life according to my dominant beliefs; and I AM improving the quality of those beliefs.

7. Constantly striving to raise my vibration through good thoughts, words and actions.

8. Making a meaningful contribution to the world and I AM wonderfully compensated for my contribution.

9. Willing to believe that I AM the creator of my life experience.

10.Willing to believe that by raising my vibration, I will attract more of what I desire.

11. Worthy of love, abundance, success, happiness and fulfillment.

12. Willing to believe that by focusing on feeling good, I make better choices that lead to desired results.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #love #selflove #health #mentalillness #therapy #recovery #motivation #wellness #mindfulness #healing #ptsd #mentalhealthmatters #fitness #wellbeing #loveyourself #psychology #life #meditation #happiness #worldmentalhealthday #suicideprevention #endthestigma #inspiration #positivity


**These quotes were found from the following site: http://www.thelawofattraction.com/what-is-the-law-of-attraction/

Affirmation statements found here: https://blog.mindvalley.com/law-of-attraction-affirmations/

Are You an Overthinker? Try this.

“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.”

Buddha
Ever feel like your mind is going in circles?

Overthinking – I could write a book on that topic. If you were to look up “overthinking” in the dictionary, my picture would be next to it. I am the Queen of second-guessing and going back over situations a million times.

It is easy to feel paralyzed and then become stuck in the destructive habit of overthinking. You can overthink a small problem so much that it begins to snowball into a massive, undefeatable monster.

Here are 10 signs of overthinking you should be aware of:

  1. Second guessing everything.
  2. Feeling overwhelmed by the littlest decisions.
  3. You regret often.
  4. You are a perfectionist.
  5. Body tenses up. You may feel ill or have a headache.
  6. Insomnia.
  7. Your mind just keeps going in circles. Almost like you can’t shut it off.
  8. You take things personally when they aren’t meant to be personal.
  9. Criticize yourself often.
  10. You always feel on edge.

So now that you know what the signs are, what can you do about it? When you are an overthinker, it is almost like you have to retrain your brain to not think that way. Because of this, it does take time to master these skills.

Here are some things I have tried that may be helpful:

  • Be mindful. Stay present-focused. There could be a million “what if” scenarios. You are not a fortune teller. Acknowledge how you feel and then release those “what ifs” into the atmosphere.
  • Let go of perfection. Perfection is an unrealistic goal.
  • Embrace mistakes. It is okay to mess up. That is how we grow.
  • Write down your worries. Get them out of your head and onto paper. Then place them in a drawer; you can revisit later.
  • Acknowledge your fears.
  • Meditation/Yoga. This can be extremely hard at first for an overthinker, but with practice it gets better.
  • Positive affirmations. It is important to tell yourself you are doing the best you can.

#selfhelp #affirmations #overthinking #mindful #loveyourself #anxiety #depression #quotes #mentalhealth #sad #love #socialanxiety #thoughts #mind #life #overthinker #mindset #feelings #mood #depressed #introvertproblems #recovery #introvert #ocd #stress #alone #philosophy #sadness #inspiration #health #funny #blogs #blog #yoga

Why Reading is Important for Personal Growth and Achievement

Do not underestimate the magic of what 15 minutes of reading can do for your self-growth.

Kristen S.

Reading is a popular habit among super successful (and happy!) people. But not just any kind of reading – it’s the kind of reading which helps to spark the soul, building self-confidence and spirit.

Some people choose to read a devotional in the morning to help with setting their frame of mind for the day. Others may pick up a book or read a blog post in the evening. And then there are the other individuals (like I was) who do nothing because there is NO TIME.

Here is the cold, hard truth. You do have time. You just choose not to use it. Let me explain — a lot of us waste minutes throughout the day without really realizing it. Fifteen minutes can come and go as you scroll through Facebook. Fifteen minutes can easily fly by as you flip through the channels on your TV. You might spend fifteen minutes or more shopping or driving in the car. Those fifteen minutes you spent complaining about how unfair life is? Yep, those just flew by too. Get my point? You need to purposely fit it in your schedule. If you say you can’t fit it in, then clearly your mind has already rejected the idea. Here are some tips:

1. Get an audiobook for the car
2. Wake up fifteen minutes earlier
3. Set aside fifteen minutes before you go to bed
4. Subscribe to an uplifting blog that will send you notifications every time a new article is posted
5. Purchase a daily devotional book (not all of these are religious; some just have positive quotes)

Whichever is more convenient for you (or more inspiring), choose that. Do not make excuses.

If you need suggestions, here is some of my favorites:

1. “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero
2. “Girl, Wash Your Face” and “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis
3. “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson
4. “The Power (The Secret)” by Rhonda Byrne
5. “Get Out of Your Own Way” by Mark Goulston

Remember, do not underestimate the magic of what fifteen minutes of positive reading can do for your self-growth. Make the time, and see how that changes your attitude over the next couple of months.

————————————————————————–

#selfhelp #inspirational #books #reading #motivational #read #positivity #blogs #audiobooks #devotionals #bookstagram #bookworm #booklover #read #bookish #bibliophile #instabook #booknerd #bookaddict #love #b #bookstagrammer #reader #writing #bookaholic #booksofinstagram #booklove #bookshelf #literature #bookphotography #readingtime #readersofinstagram #instabooks #library #author #bookblogger #bhfyp #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #motivation #selflove #selfcare #mindset #inspiration #growthmindset #lifecoach #success #coaching #selfdevelopment #mindfulness #growth #leadership #selfhelp #mentalhealth #love #meditation #selfgrowth #spirituality #healing #selfimprovement #spiritualgrowth #lifecoaching #loveyourself #positivevibes #gratitude #goals #bhfyp