Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.
In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.
Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.
Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.
Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:
Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .
Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.
I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.
I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.
It’s time and I’m ready.
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