Dear Me: I forgive you.

Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.

In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.

Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.

Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.

Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:

Dear Me,

Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.

I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.

I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.


#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #forgiveness #wellbeing #instagood #threads #bhfyp

How Your Core-Conflict Shapes Your Identity

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”

William James

One of the coolest things about being a human being is that we are each unique due to our various experiences and circumstances. These layers of influences have shaped our beliefs whether we realize it or not, and have created the person we are today.

This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. While we use our values to have a positive impact on the world, we also have limiting beliefs about ourselves that we have formed from an early age. The negative beliefs, while we try to repress them, are actually working subconsciously throughout our everyday life.

While on a coaching call the other night, my friend pointed out to me that I had a pattern – a pattern that was influenced by something called a “core-conflict”. We began talking it out and I realized that everytime I thought I wasn’t going to succeed in something, I gave up. I wouldn’t let myself completely fail. By doing that, I never let myself completely succeed in something because I stopped anytime a bump in the road came. The road to success is often very bumpy. As Rachel Hollis says, you have to let yourself “fail forward” many times in order to achieve the very thing you want. Success is not linear, but rather a curvy line.

When I realized this talking to my coach, it angered me. I began to think of all the things I quit prematurely – – multiple sports, swimming, acting, singing, piano lessons, and dance. I asked her, “Well I just don’t understand…when did I start feeling ‘not good enough’? What was the turning point and why did I feel like I needed to protect myself?”

Her response – “Your core-conflict is often shaped by an event in your childhood (sometime between the ages of two and six) and then continues to fester over time. The good thing is you can rewrite your story. You just have to face it head on.”

I think back and it’s amazing to see how that core-conflict of mine negatively affected my identity and how I went about doing things. To be completely honest and transparent – there have been many times even recently when I thought “what’s the point of my blog and what’s the point of Arbonne – I’m not really helping anyone anyway.” Even though this is not completely true, it “feels” true and it feels safe to take the easy way out. “I can’t fail this way” is what I tell myself. But, in reality the only way I do fail is by quitting.

I know in my heart that God has a huge purpose for me. As I sit here writing this, I know that if I were to continue down this path of self-destruction, my potential would not be met and the people I want to help will never be helped. I have learned I need to trust myself, as I begin to rewrite my story. Trust what I know to be true, and allow those bumps in the road to happen.

According to the Law of Attraction (which I have discussed in my blog before), what you send out into the universe is what you get back. In other words, “believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.” So if I am to rewrite my story and send positivity out into the world, I must first start by abandoning my core-conflict and allowing myself to feel the emotions connected with failure. By doing that, I will have to practice seeing these experiences as opportunities to practice mindfulness and self-development rather than times that I am “not good enough”.

Whatever your core-conflict is, I challenge you to do some self-reflecting as well. It will hurt to uncover the past and it will be challenging to relearn a new truth about yourself. But I guarantee you it will be worth it. Your purpose is just waiting for you to discover.


#healing #love #meditation #selflove #health #wellness #selfcare #yoga #energy #mentalhealth #spirituality #spiritual #mindfulness #peace #crystals #nature #reiki #motivation #life #inspiration #spiritualawakening #loveyourself #awakening #recovery #anxiety #therapy #positivevibes #energyhealing #consciousness #bhfyp #coreconflict #fear depression

The Track of Life

Behind me is a track. Let’s pretend it’s the track of life. You can either run it or you can stand back and watch. Who do you let control your life? Are you in control or are you letting life just happen?

You are not meant to stay stuck in life. Your mindset has a huge impact on that track. If you want all life had to offer, you need to BELIEVE you deserve that. It’s called the law of attraction. What you send out into the universe is what you get back. So if you want to run that track and take control of your life, the time is NOW! ⭐️

How do you get started? Honestly, you just start. Wherever you are, whatever circumstance – the first step is to just decide you want something different.

The next step – take action! It can be small steps, but start doing life differently. Whether that means getting up thirty minutes earlier to do personal growth or standing in front of a mirror and saying daily affirmations. You need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Happy and successful people did not just start out that way. They had setbacks. They had times they wanted to quit. The only different is they stuck toward their goal. You have the power within you to be who you want to be. You just have to stay on that track and be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Believe you can, and you will.


#mindful #life #inspiration #motivation #bossbabes #keepgoing #determination #success #health #mindset

Intro to Clean Eating

This is the beginning of the recipes section of my website! A new tab will be made on the homepage to display some of my personal favorite clean eating recipes.

Part of “Holistic Living” is living to the best of your ability physically, as well as mentally. When you eat clean – riding of processed foods and common allergens, you will notice an increase in your energy levels and a boost of overall well-being. This does not mean the occasionally pizza or ice cream will damage you, I want to make that clear! But living that 80-20 lifestyle, will allow you to focus primarily on your health without totally riding your cravings.

Remember – it takes 21 days to make something a habit. Don’t give up!!

Here are some tips to eating clean and increasing health:

  1. Load up on veggies – Most of us lack fruits and veggies in our diet and do not get enough on a daily basis. Try to increase your intake by adding a little more to each meal. Half your dinner at night should be veggies. If you are still struggling, check out a supplement to help add the minerals/vitamins. Greens Balance is my go-to choice.
  2. Try to limit your gluten intake for thirty days. See if it makes a difference in your digestion. Some have sensitives with gluten and don’t even know it. If you are okay with gluten, switch to whole grain breads.
  3. Eat more lean meat – such as turkey, fish, chicken, and grass-fed beef.
  4. Limit processed foods. Processed foods often have a lot of sugar or sodium and are high in calories and lack nutrients.
  5. Add more protein in your diet. I personally find it hard to eat enough protein during the day, which is why I makes shakes in the morning with protein powder and a protein boost.
  6. Limit dairy and soy intake. Dairy is another common allergen that causes problems without us knowing it. It is highly inflammatory, it’s acid-forming, and its full of hormones.
  7. Stay mindful of added sugar and added salt. These are called micronutrients, and we often neglect to look at them. We think carbs, fats, calories, and protein – but sugar intake and sodium intake are important as well. Try to keep it at a consistent level, where they are not spiking.
  8. Consider supplements for certain vitamins/minerals you are low on. I have heard so many people say no before really considering the benefit it has for your body. If you are one who doesn’t like to eat a lot or is against veggies, adding a nutritionally-dense supplement is not a bad thing. In fact, it allows you to meet your goal without feeling miserable about it. Like I said, I would never personally meet my protein goal without a protein supplement.

If you are interested in a 30 day clean eating challenge with daily education and coaching, feel free to send me an email.

In the meantime, look for a recipes section to come!


#cleaneating #healthy #health #veggies #vegan #cleaneatingchallenge #fit #fitness #motivation #fitspiration #motivation

Success: The Iceberg Illusion

“Achievements and success often blind us so that we often are not even aware of the huge efforts that were necessary to make these outcomes possible.”

Katelyn Shelby, Blogger

The iceberg illusion highlights the difference between what you see and what you don’t see when it comes to achieving success. While it is not an original concept of mine, I wanted to share it because I personally refer back to it to remind myself success takes time.

I want you to think of an iceberg. The first thing you probably think of is the top of the iceberg sticking out of the water. But, truth is, there is also a bottom. A bottom that goes deep down in the cold, icy waters.

Just like many of us tend to think about the top of the iceberg rather than the whole iceberg itself, many of us see success the same way. We forget the hard work, the dedication, the failures, the disappointments, and all the sacrifice that happens when you are working toward a goal.

It is so easy to see a successful person and think “I wish I was them. They have life easy.” However, in stating this, we aren’t acknowledging what it took for that person to get where they are in life.

Eminem and Jennifer Lopez are two good examples of this. They have achieved much success in their careers, but they both had challenging upbringings in rough neighborhoods. They could have easily given up because their situation looked grim. In fact, JLo still stayed focused on her dream even when her mother kicked her out of the house, and had nowhere to go. Talk about perseverance! Most of us don’t know that, because we focus on the here and now. It’s almost as if it has been built into our culture.

We are in a microwave era, as I like to call it – where instant gratification is what we want, and what we expect. We have to challenge this thought and change our mindset. While we cannot always see all of the efforts of a successful person firsthand, we have to remember the efforts that are hidden below the surface.

Success only comes through hard work and to those who are consistent and patience. So, the next time you start doubting yourself remember that success is not a linear path. Failure is not falling short of your goal. The only way you can fail is if you quit.

Image result for iceberg of success"

#success #selflove #motivation #inspiration #keepgoing #determination #bloggers #bossbabes

What is Holding You Back?

“A lot of the time, what holds us back and keeps us trapped is the thought that we aren’t the sort of person who can succeed.”

Katherine Hurst

As our souls enter into this world, each individual is born with a pre-designed purpose. As we grow and learn from experiences, we begin to recognize what our soul aligns with.

Often times, there are barriers. These barriers could be exterior – such as financial or situational – or these barriers could be created by our own mind, in which we stop ourselves due to self-doubt or fear of judgment.

Whether it be external factors or internal, it is vital to recognize what is holding you back. Force yourself to slow down and STOP – stop and reflect, “Am I reaching my fullest potential?”

The mind is a very powerful thing. Sometimes we become immune to the negative comments we say to ourselves, not realizing the damage it will cause.

I am the QUEEN of negative self-talk, and am just now learning how to break it. Since I was little, I always had the idea in my head that I was never enough. This was not something that was ever said to me, but more or less something I inflicted on myself. The idea of perfection was the overlying dark cloud that would follow me from childhood to adulthood. I had talents, but I could never rise to that top level where I wanted to be. As a result, I would tell myself “You are not good enough.”

Here’s the problem – I quit a lot of things because I felt “I was not good enough” and – the truth is – if I had given myself more time, I probably would have succeeded in one of the many things I quit.

So now I ask you – what is holding you back? What is it that you really desire and what is stopping you from getting there?


#fear #doubt #shame #keepgoing #mentalhealth #inspiration #dreams #life #time #innovation #motivation #motivationalquotes #anxiety

You are Not a Tree

“If you are not happy with your life, you need to do something to change it. Do not stay stuck. You are not a tree.”

If you read the name of the article and the quote, you might think – “Wow that’s harsh, what does this girl know?”

Let me tell you what I know. If you backtrack my life to about two years ago, I literally lost everything – some by choice and some by a domino effect. It broke me in ways I cannot explain. I literally just laid on the bathroom floor one day and said “God just take me because I cannot do this anymore.”

Now fast forward two years. I am beyond happy. I look forward to each day and am excited for my future. But this feeling did not come overnight. It took time. But first, I needed to change what was not working for me and accept that things were going to be dicey for a while in order to have the future I wanted.

In a year’s time, I had a miscarriage, filed for divorce, filed for bankruptcy which included losing my house and good credit score, lost my job, moved back in with my mom, and said goodbye to my three cats who stayed with my ex. My life was hell. I also lost friends along the way who claimed my shit was “too much” for them to handle.

So, as you can see, it was as if a wrecking ball had come flying into my life taking everything with it. It started with the miscarriage, which really had me reevaluate my life and what I wanted. I had been unhappy in my marriage for a while, but was too scared and too sad to do anything. My miscarriage forced me to focus on myself.

After spending many nights crying my eyes out, I decided I needed to make a change no matter how terrifying it was. Once I signed my name on the petition for divorce, I knew there was no turning back. On top of it just being plain scary to end a ten year relationship with someone, I knew that going through with the divorce meant I had to be willing to file for bankruptcy (due to the house loans we had taken out). It was as though one thing just lead to another.

Frankly, looking back, I still don’t know how I did it all – except for just putting one foot in front of another and never looking back.

The point of my story is this – if you are unhappy, it is up to you to change it. Do not stand still and hope for the best. Don’t wait for the circumstances to be perfect or the right amount of money to come along. It is never going to happen. If you want to be unstuck, YOU need to get yourself moving.

It starts with a decision – one powerful decision to change your life. Then comes an action. And after that, it’s one small thing after another. The key is never looking back. Look toward your future and make your dreams come true.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #love #selflove #health #mentalillness #therapy #recovery #motivation #wellness #mindfulness #healing #ptsd #mentalhealthmatters #fitness #wellbeing #loveyourself #psychology #life #meditation #happiness #worldmentalhealthday #suicideprevention #endthestigma #inspiration #positivity #change #divorce

Physical vs. Emotional Hunger

“I was not eating to nourish my body but rather eating to fill an emotional hole”

After my battle with anorexia, I still struggled with food for many years. Essentially, I went from not eating anything to over indulging in things because I went too long not enjoying food. Then the occasional overindulging lead to emotional eating when I was sad or anxious.

As stated in a previous post, I was not eating to nourish my body but rather eating to fill an emotional hole. This took some time to overcome, and there are still times I struggle with it today. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) taught me “mindfulness” – as silly as it might sounds, many of us cannot master this concept. We, as a society, are always thinking about the past or the future – not too much about the present. Staying in the moment, and allowing yourself to recognize how you feel, can allow you to overcome more than you would think. Being aware is the first step to letting go.

If you struggle with emotional eating, I urge you to begin to be more mindful of your physical and mental state at the time you crave food.

Ask yourself where you feel the hunger, be aware of the timing, and how fast you are consuming your food.

Here are some classic signs to look for according to Natalie Wingfield (of the VA Beach Counseling Center) and how you tell the difference between physical and emotional eating:

Physical
Where do you feel the hunger: stomach
Timing: every 4-6hrs
Rate: slow, mindful
Other: eating with others, diversity with food

Emotional:
Where do you feel the hunger: mouth watering, need to chew
Timing: urgent
Rate: faster paced
Other: often alone, craving something specific

It took me a while to realize that my body is a temple. It is merely what transports my soul from one place to another. So, be mindful. Real happiness does not come from food or from having an ideal body. However, if you nourish your body with the correct amount of vitamins and minerals, you will be amazed at how much better physically and mentally you will feel. Your gut carries 80-90% of the serotonin in your body. So when your belly is properly nourished, you will see a difference in your mood.


#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp

The Pillow Method

“The idea is to write your affirmation on a piece of paper and place it underneath your pillow before you fall asleep.”

Okay, so I cannot claim”The Pillow Method” as my idea – I want to put that out there first and foremost. However, I think the whole concept is an amazing idea and I wanted to share!

As stated in the quote above, “the idea is to write your affirmation on a piece of paper and place it underneath your pillow before you fall asleep.” The reason for this? The moment you fall asleep and the moment you wake up are two crucial times in the day that impact our thinking. It is important to set the right intention to avoid unwanted and negative thought patterns, and to start retraining your brain to think positively.

Why specifically is this effective?

  1. You are allowing your last thoughts of the day to be positive. This can have a positive effect on your dream cycle and also allow you to carry that attitude to the next day. I mean think about it this way – how often do nightmares come from thoughts or events occurring prior to sleeping?
  2. Setting your intention before bed also helps you “rewire subconscious thought patterns” as you sleep. All those underlying thoughts that may be negative, this will help you retrain your brain overtime as you set a new intention for your life.
  3. As you are falling asleep, it is almost like you are “letting go” of any resistance to your desire/affirmation. Let those negative thoughts just float away as you drift asleep and just allow yourself to focus on your goal. Like I stated in a previous blog, there is such thing as the law of attraction. Your positive thoughts can have a huge impact on your outlook and what you achieve.

**The Pillow Method was an idea posted on moderndaymanifestations.com. **

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Improving my Nutritional Intake

“The truth is you cannot out exercise bad nutrition.”

My battle with nutrition has been a bumpy road. Unfortunately, after years of starving myself, binging, and throwing up, I have some lasting effects from my eating disorder which has messed up my intestines and thus my digestion.

Arbonne’s nutrition has helped so much in decreasing bloating and increasing movement in my intestines. I have had terrible IBS (as well as gastroparesis – the slowing of digestion) since the height of my eating disorder days. To say it has been a struggle is an understatement.

When I first started with Arbonne, I was drawn to the skincare. I really didn’t dabble into the nutrition until the last few years. Now – I can’t imagine life without it.

All the supplements are vegan certified, gluten free certified, and non-GMO certified. This is perfect for me as my body is sensitive to milk products so whey protein is a no-go for me. Arbonne is, instead, plant based; its main source of protein is actually pea protein.

The nutrition can be used separately for whatever you feel you need, or you can join the 30 day clean eating challenge. What I like about this challenge is that it is based on changing your lifestyle – it is not a quick fix, or a diet. Diets would always mess with my head because my eating disorder voice would kick in.

The VPs were always great with guiding me through the program. In the online (private) Facebook group that occurs once a month, the VPs explain how the clean eating program works and give you recipes to help you along the way.

After the 30 days, the program leaders teach you how to reintegrate certain foods back into your diet depending on what you tolerate. Most people follow 80% of the program after the 30 days to continue to support their new healthy lifestyle.

The major goals of the program is to:
– decrease toxins from your diet
– increase nutrient intake/absorption
– improve elimination of toxins
– balance blood sugar
– balance your system’s PH
– support you through resources, education, and recipes for clean eating.

I personally use all of the products, but I do so by using a personal trainer and by doing the 80/20 lifestyle…which is what most people follow after of program. The personal trainer was vital for me because of my ED history and because her belief aligned with me as far as nourishing my body and strengthening it.

If you are interested in joining the next 30 day group or interested in working with Corin, please send me an email at kstobbe13@hotmail.com and I’ll send you more information.

Even if you have a bad past with eating and exercise, it does not mean that you will have a bad future. My suggestion is to learn everything you can, set realistic goals, and remember how strong you are.

#nutrition #fitness #health #healthy #healthyfood #healthylifestyle #gym #motivation #diet #weightloss #workout #wellness #bodybuilding #fit #food #fitnessmotivation #lifestyle #fitfam #vegan #healthyeating #training #healthyliving #exercise #protein #eatclean #personaltrainer #supplements #nutritionist #cleaneating #bhfyp