How Your Core-Conflict Shapes Your Identity

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”

William James

One of the coolest things about being a human being is that we are each unique due to our various experiences and circumstances. These layers of influences have shaped our beliefs whether we realize it or not, and have created the person we are today.

This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. While we use our values to have a positive impact on the world, we also have limiting beliefs about ourselves that we have formed from an early age. The negative beliefs, while we try to repress them, are actually working subconsciously throughout our everyday life.

While on a coaching call the other night, my friend pointed out to me that I had a pattern – a pattern that was influenced by something called a “core-conflict”. We began talking it out and I realized that everytime I thought I wasn’t going to succeed in something, I gave up. I wouldn’t let myself completely fail. By doing that, I never let myself completely succeed in something because I stopped anytime a bump in the road came. The road to success is often very bumpy. As Rachel Hollis says, you have to let yourself “fail forward” many times in order to achieve the very thing you want. Success is not linear, but rather a curvy line.

When I realized this talking to my coach, it angered me. I began to think of all the things I quit prematurely – – multiple sports, swimming, acting, singing, piano lessons, and dance. I asked her, “Well I just don’t understand…when did I start feeling ‘not good enough’? What was the turning point and why did I feel like I needed to protect myself?”

Her response – “Your core-conflict is often shaped by an event in your childhood (sometime between the ages of two and six) and then continues to fester over time. The good thing is you can rewrite your story. You just have to face it head on.”

I think back and it’s amazing to see how that core-conflict of mine negatively affected my identity and how I went about doing things. To be completely honest and transparent – there have been many times even recently when I thought “what’s the point of my blog and what’s the point of Arbonne – I’m not really helping anyone anyway.” Even though this is not completely true, it “feels” true and it feels safe to take the easy way out. “I can’t fail this way” is what I tell myself. But, in reality the only way I do fail is by quitting.

I know in my heart that God has a huge purpose for me. As I sit here writing this, I know that if I were to continue down this path of self-destruction, my potential would not be met and the people I want to help will never be helped. I have learned I need to trust myself, as I begin to rewrite my story. Trust what I know to be true, and allow those bumps in the road to happen.

According to the Law of Attraction (which I have discussed in my blog before), what you send out into the universe is what you get back. In other words, “believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.” So if I am to rewrite my story and send positivity out into the world, I must first start by abandoning my core-conflict and allowing myself to feel the emotions connected with failure. By doing that, I will have to practice seeing these experiences as opportunities to practice mindfulness and self-development rather than times that I am “not good enough”.

Whatever your core-conflict is, I challenge you to do some self-reflecting as well. It will hurt to uncover the past and it will be challenging to relearn a new truth about yourself. But I guarantee you it will be worth it. Your purpose is just waiting for you to discover.


#healing #love #meditation #selflove #health #wellness #selfcare #yoga #energy #mentalhealth #spirituality #spiritual #mindfulness #peace #crystals #nature #reiki #motivation #life #inspiration #spiritualawakening #loveyourself #awakening #recovery #anxiety #therapy #positivevibes #energyhealing #consciousness #bhfyp #coreconflict #fear depression

Judgement – Who is Judging Who

“People will judge you no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you want.”

Unknown

Raise your hand if you ever remember feeling “judged” for something you did, a comment you said, or a decision you made? 🙋‍♀️

I think it is safe to say, we have all been there.

Sometimes these judgements are real and other times they are stories we make up in our own heads. Fact – human beings are judgemental creatures. But, remember, their base of judgement is rooted from how they view the world. It has nothing to do with you.

Each human is different, made up of their own experiences and values that tell them how the world should be. That does not mean everything they believe is correct. If we constantly worry about how others will perceive us, we will STOP ourselves from becoming the very person we were meant to become. Opportunities that could open up the world for us will never blossom because we didn’t even allow ourselves to open the door.

Here’s the truth – 75% of the time, the judgements we feel are thoughts we made up and told ourselves to believe. I say that because EVERYONE is worried about being judged – to the point where they are mainly thinking about how others are perceiving them. They are not worried about you as much as you feel like they are.

We spend hours criticizing ourselves, when they spend – what – like a second thinking about us regarding something that has no truth attached to it?

It is easy to get paralyzed with fear in hopes of fitting in or being accepted by others. But here’s the catch – others do not get to define who we are; WE define who we are.

Yes, I’m weird. I’m quirky. I’m a Philly Sports phanatic, not girly girl. I am a homebody who loves her fur babies, and I am definitely not a partier. I enjoy board games and being at the beach. I love helping people and I believe that I am here for a bigger purpose than just me. Not all these statements I like about myself, but I am learning to accept them because that is who God made me to be.

People will always have opinions and that is their right. But YOU get to decide how YOU show up each and every day. Are you going to hold yourself back because of your perceived opinion or others’ perceived opinions? Or are you going to push through and show others what’s possible when you just go for it and be you?

Show them what it means to be you. Live your life on your terms. Don’t let other opinions define who you are. Then start a ripple effect – try your best to judge people a little less because you know what it is like to feel judged yourself.

I guarantee you will inspire people without even knowing about it. So go out, BE BOLD, BE YOU.


#judgement #keepgoing #motivation #holistic #mentalhealth #fear #anxiety #depression #strength #courage #strong #inspiration #health #healthymind