Don’t get me wrong – I am completely happy in my current romantic relationship. And I definitely don’t think that being in a relationship is wrong. What this article is about, is rather emphasizing the message that being single is okay – that being single should, instead, not be looked down upon but actually utilized to find one self in the process.
Often I hear the phrase “my other half” or “my person” or “I need to feel complete”. I have been guilty of saying these phrases myself and I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel comfort from having the love that I do have in my life. So if you have said these things, my point is I GET IT. I am not here to bring you down or make you feel badly for feeling this way. After all, we all deserve to feel love in our life. But I also want you to hear me out, and hear what I have experienced and how being single actually allowed me to find myself again.
A little over two years ago, I made the decision to divorce my husband. It was many years in the making, but I holded off for so long because I was afraid to leave…afraid for many reasons, but one of them being “who am I without this other person in my life?” Even though the relationship was no longer healthy, I felt like a half of a person anytime I thought about leaving.
When I got to my lowest point and finally threw in the towel, I spent the next four months rebuilding myself. There were many moments I cried. Many moments I thought about going back. Many moments that I thought “No one will ever love me again.” But I forced myself each day to get up, ignore these thoughts, and ignite positive energy into my day. I used the extra time to begin working out again. I started going out with friends. I became more dedicated to finding what I enjoyed, because for the last ten years it never felt about me. I was always taking care of someone else.
In these four months, I did find the love of my life who I am currently with today. But my point is – I stopped thinking about it. I stopped looking for love. I, instead, started looking within myself and building the love I needed to provide FOR myself. I did not rush into the relationship – instead, I stayed friends with her those four months and allowed myself the time to heal and feel steady on my own two feet. I needed to feel like I could do it on my own.
So instead of saying “she completes me”, I now say she encourages me to become a better version of myself. This would have only happened if I allowed myself to be single for those couple months. Being able to want someone, instead of needing them is a powerful concept.
#single #beingsingle #loveonself #strength #relationships #findingoneself